Alright first I get held by police for 2 feckin hours, loose 20 quid, next I get a phone call summoning me up north immediately and telling me someone "isn't dead yet."
I beg to know whats going on only to get told I will only find out the bad news if I get up north, so 4 days before my 20th I am not planning a party with my friends and Ted - but cancelling plans, and also getting told that Ted's mate Nat who told him she loved him and keeps phoning at really akward times and acting strangly and inviting Ted round to her place, me not included, because she feels lonely. (and discussing her complicated sex life is impossible unless she's in jimjams. lol)
So 4 days before my birthday I am drunk, dishevelled in need of a shower not feeling too good because of a tummy bug, slumped in a flat in a duvet watching kids play guitar hero, unable to reason properly so only able to yell incoherantly that I want to tear my guys mate nat's tits off - oh dear - tooo tooo too much vodka and ... everything else lol.
Only to burst into tears because I am so worried and think that as no one of my family that I've rung will tell me whose ill - and by what they have said that someone is going to die very soon of something terrible and I am utterly distraught because they wont tell me who or how or what! - but i can't travel till monday and the banks open.
It will also mean leaving Ted behind, and he doesn't believe me that Nat wants to get into his pants, and that she doesn't see it as only friendship. And that I actually do trust him, but am extremely stressed and frustrated.

So - What is going on?

firstly - My Uncle is believed to have MS, and is deteriorating fast at the moment. but lets stay positive, it could be something else - lets pray its anything else.

secondly - my father Angelo is dead, he died of mouth cancer in august, down south in South end on sea, he was just across the country from me - I will never get my chance to meet him. And the funeral has been and gone.

thirdly - Ted was going to sleep over at Nat's but yet again she called - lucky this time what ever was said was so obvious that now even Ted is of the opinion that she wants him as more than just a friend, - least one good thing I'm not crazy and at least on my birthday my boyfriend won't be sleeping round at her house.

Alot of stress and anguish could have been avoided but nope mum decided to only tell me if I spent over 100 quid and travelled for 6 hours alone - why?

because she hates Ted - and why? because I'm living with him, its so fecking stupid!

At least tomorrow I will get to see leelee - man I need ta see a few friendly faces at the mo things are majorly heavy.

(the police you can ask me about later lol.)